Obituary of Joao T. DeMelo

Joao T. DeMelo, the retired superintendent of the Harvard art museums, passed away peacefully on Saturday afternoon, September 9, 2017 at the age of 93. João was born in Villa Franca on the island of S.Miguel, Azores. To further his professional education he left for the island of Terceira where he studied court procedures and policy. Upon the completion of his studies he returned to S. Miguel where he became the head of the labor board for the “Instituto do Tribunal”. In 1949 he married his late wife, Ermelinda Tavares and had two daughters; Graça and Dulce. In 1957, João left for British Columbia, Canada where he lived for 9 years. He was later reunited in 1966 with wife and daughters in Somerville, Ma. Shortly thereafter he purchased a home in the same city where Richard, his third child was born. In 1980 his Burlington residence became his pride and joy where he stayed until nearly his passing. João’s first job in the US was as a carpenter, working at the Harvard University art museums. He custom fabricated frames, pedestals, cabinets and all types of displays for the priceless artwork. He soon thereafter was responsible for installing and storing the countless works housed within those walls. He handled many of the world famous pieces still on display at the Fogg art Museum. After nearly 25 years, he retired in 1987 where he had many positions including Superindentent. Joao’s life outside of work revolved around his family. He was a devoted husband to his wife, Ermelinda, for 68 years. He was blessed to see his family grow with the births of his children, their marriages, and then the addition of his grandchildren and great grandchildren. He would always place his family’s needs first. He was always there to lend a helping hand around their homes. He would fix almost anything and his finished carpentry was museum quality, and his labor rate, “free”, was even better. He was an avid gardener growing the traditional tomatoes, zucchini, cucumbers, along with his own specialties like Kale and grapes. He was avid fisherman and had a great love for the ocean. He longfully told stories of his youth spent on the shores of Villa Franca. He enjoyed fishing off the shores in British Columbia, Gloucester, and Cape Cod. Carpentry wasn’t his only talent for he was a great cook specializing in traditional Portuguese recipes. He eventually took lessons and mastered many Chinese dishes as well. After his retirement, he became a member of the Burlington Historical Commission where he shared his knowledge and skills he had acquired to assist in cataloging historical items and setting up displays of their historical pieces. During his golden years, you would frequently find him walking his neighborhood and he rarely missed an opportunity to go for long car rides. It is hard for his family to see Joao’s passing only four months after his wife’s passing, but it does give them some comfort the they are together again in Heaven. Joao was the beloved husband of the late Ermelinda (Tavares). Loving father of Maria Graça Hammond & her husband Charles of Billerica, Maria Dulce Smith & her husband Walter of Burlington, and Richard Melo & his wife Lisa of Burlington. Brother of the late Hortense Costa, Teresa Medeiros, Lourdes Sousa, and Conceição Fragoso. Proud grandfather of Joshua & Lucas Hammond, Raquel Gill, Sarah, Katrina, Max, & Andrea Smith, and Noah Melo and great grandmother of Everly and Kaylee Gill. Visiting hours will be held at the Edward V. Sullivan Funeral Home, 43 Winn St., BURLINGTON (exit 34 off Rt. 128/95, Woburn side) on Thursday Sept. 14 from 6-8 p.m. A Mass of Christian Burial will be held on Friday September 15 at 10 a.m. in St. Margaret Church, 111 Winn St., Burlington. Relatives and friends are respectfully invited. Burial in Fox Hill Cemetery, Billerica. Memorials in Joao’s name may be made to the Alzheimer’s Association, 309 Waverley Oaks Road, Waltham, MA 02452 or www.alz.org//manh. Eulogy by his grandson, Josh Hammond When asked to prepare this eulogy I knew that I couldn’t do it alone. It is for this reason that Lucas, Raquel, Max, Andrea, Sarah and Katrina were asked to share their memories of Vovo. We cannot speak to our memories of Vovo when he was young. Only his children who stand here before us, Titi Dulce, Uncle Richie and Mom and his dearest friends, hold those early memories and life skills that Vovo has shown us. This talk is one that shares with our parents, relatives and friends the very best memories, closest moments and life lessons that we, as grandchildren, learned from Vovo. My earliest memories of Vovo begins on one day. It was on this day that Vovo had retired after many years of employment working at Harvard University Art Museums . It was a late evening and the family was gathered at Vovo and Vo’vo’s house to celebrate. Vovo was presented with a framed pair of gold plated pliers as a tribute for his many years of remarkable service. Vovo, an immigrant from the Azores, was trusted to professionally hang and care for some of the world's most prized, rare and expensive paintings. That night we watched as he expertly hung the framed gold plated pliers on the wall of his living room. To us grandchildren, Vovo was a man of few words. He was a man who lived in the now and not in the past. We make this statement because when we think about Vovo and the things he has shared or done with us, we are reminded of memories that happen in the moment. He wasn’t much of a storyteller, he wasn’t a bragger of accomplishments although he had many, Vovo was a doer. He was an artist in many ways and a hands-on hard working person. Vovo was a compassionate man who loved each of his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren to bits. Our conversations were never about him, he never looked to captivate us with his stories.. He simply wanted to hear ours and so we shared with Vovo what we were doing in our lives, our schooling, our girlfriends, boyfriends and now husbands and wives. And now, us grandchildren, we will speak of those memories so that his children and friends can be reminded of the compassion, the life lessons, the humor and their was a lot of it, and his love. Who could ever forget holiday parties that Vovo and Vo’vo’ graciously prepared for many years until they just couldn't do it anymore. Holiday parties were a spectacular presentation of food, comfort, fun and love. 4th of July parties were absolutely some of our favorites. The day would begin early and the weather and pool warm. Vovo and Vo’vo’ were cooking ferociously, presenting American foods for us grandchildren with unrefined palates and Portuguese food for family. The old folks would drink, laugh and eat in the Cabana while us children would play and swim until our toes were raw from the cement floor of the pool. For 30 minutes on this amazing day, Vovo would disappear deep into his gorgeous yard. Tucked into the far corner so that the smell of grilled sardines would not turn everyones nose and ruin our appetites. I’m sure us grandchildren today wish that we were older back then, so that we would have given those sardines a chance. For us grandchildren, sardines were not the only gross thing Vovo would cook and eat. He took great pleasure in making us squirm as he played with and ate fish eyes, cow tongue, pig’s feet and bananas so brown you couldn't help but laugh. He would pop his dentures in and out of his mouth on purpose, just to gross us out. Vovo loved his chair, he loved his tv, he loved the newspaper and he loved sports. Vovo took immense pleasure sitting his chair while surrounded by family. Watching his grandchildren roll around on the carpet and playing. Climbing through the bars of the railing to the kitchen, sneaking underneath the overhang and spying on Vovo from behind his chair. He would play with us and try to grab us when we got too close. For the many things that Vovo loved, he expressed great distaste for others. He loved to cook and he was an amazing cook. He took lessons and learned from watching cooking shows but, he despised our fellow Portuguese cooking celebrity Emeril Lagasse. To this day, we can still recall Vovo sitting in his chair openly mocking Emeril as Vovo yelled “oooh bam!” “oooh bam!” in a condescending tone. Vovo hated any TV show or movie with love scenes. Hugging and kissing was simply gross and strictly forbidden on his living room TV. He just had to change the station when it was on. Vovo loved to go for car rides. Often those car rides would bring him to our old house in Burlington on the weekends. Vovo would make his appearance say hello to the family and within 15 minutes of his arrival he would say “ok, it's time to go now”. Vovo taught me how to drive. Thank god for him, my father strongly opposed of me getting my license when I was of age and lord knows he was right. But, determined I sought out the one person whom I knew would do anything to make me happy, Vovo. I still remember this day as he allowed me to drive his car around the neighborhood. I accidently rolled through a stop sign. Let’s just leave it at he was very, very very very upset. When Vovo became too old to drive cars he turned more and more to walking, he loved walking. When Vovo became more confused and too risky to be walking the streets alone and forgetful, he walked anyways. No one was going to tell Vovo he couldn't walk. Eventually, it became impossible for Vovo to live with Vo’vo’ and so he found a new home in Burlington where he could eat and walk in a secure environment and still be with his family. Alzheimer's is a cruel disease, but it didn't take Vovo away from us. There were good days and there were bad days. But, amidst the confusion you would find Vovo and he would find you. I remember once when Sarah I was asked to drive Vovo back to the assisted living following an amazing holiday party at mom’s house. He was in the passenger seat and he turned to me and said something in Portuguese to which I responded, “speak English please” and he said “do I know you”. I responded, “of course you do silly, you're my Vovo”. I then watched as his uncertainty dissolved into a calm comfort. Vovo couldn't remember my name, but he new that we were people who were extremely important to him. Sarah and I arrived on the memory care unit of the assisted living and proceeded to bring Vovo to the dining room. He was gleefully approached but one nursing aide who greeted him with much real, excitement. She was truly happy to see Vovo and had missed him. She made some comment about him being a handsome man and Vovo, standing in front of her, holding a walker proceeded to open his mouth and yell “Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhh” with a big smile on his face. We all laughed because making us laugh amidst his confusion is exactly what Vovo intended to do. Vovo and Vo’vo are some of the most pure, humble, compassionate people us grandchildren had in our lives. Through them we learned about what it means to be hard working, we learned the importance of family, we learned about culture and for Vovo especially, we learned that life is living in the now and life is nothing without humor. For us grandchildren Vovo and Vo’vo’ will forever be our cosa linda do Vovo and cosa linda da Vo’vo’.