Obituary of Nicholas Dardeno

Nicholas Dardeno, III, a longtime resident of Burlington, passed away at his home on Saturday afternoon, Dec. 22, 2007 with his family by his side after a courageous battle with cancer. The husband of Beverly R. (Battistello) he was 60 years old. Nick was born in Everett. At the age of 13 his family moved to Burlington. He was a graduate of Burlington High School. Nick went on to further his education attending Boston University and graduating from Suffolk University. Nick served his country in the United States Army during the Vietnam War. He was the recipient of Vietnam Campaign Medal, Vietnam Service Medal, and the National Defense Service Medal. He was employed for the last 4 years as a Program Manager at Hanscom Air Force Base. Prior to working at Hanscom he had a very successful career at General Dynamics working as a Contract Manager for 23 years. Nick enjoyed traveling and had traveled throughout the world visiting such places as Turkey, China, Europe, Vietnam and Africa. He also loved going to the Beach most especially Old Orchard Beach in Maine. He was an avid skier and motorcyclist. Nick’s family was the most important part of his life and he adored being with this two grandchildren Jonathan and Jessica. He will be greatly missed by all those who knew and loved him. Nick is the beloved husband of Beverly R. (Battistello). He is the loving father of Nicholas Dardeno, IV of Burlington and Diane Dardeno & Eric Marks of West Newbury. He is the beloved son of Carmella M. (Napolitano) of Burlington and the late Nicholas Dardeno, Jr. He is the brother of Philip R. Dardeno & his wife Kathy of North Reading and Linda Gerardi of Burlington. He is the beloved grandfather of Jonathan Dardeno Marks and Jessica Dardeno Marks. Nick is also survived by many nieces, nephews, and friends. Funeral from the Edward V. Sullivan Funeral Home, 43 Winn St., BURLINGTON (Exit 34 off Rt. 128, Woburn side) on Saturday, Dec. 29 at 9 a.m. Followed by a Mass of Christian Burial in St. Margaret’s Church, 111 Winn St., Burlington at 10 a.m. Visiting hours Friday 2-4 p.m. & 7-9 p.m. Interment will be private. Memorials in Nick’s name may be made to VNA Care Network & Hospice, 5 Federal St., Danvers, MA 01923. Eulogy for My Father, Nicholas Dardeno III First, on behalf of my Mother, Brother, Eric and myself, I would like to thank you all for the support you have given so freely. And to those of you who have offered your time and talents, and we have not had the opportunity to accept, please know that knowing you were there for us gave us all peace of mind. Our lives are made up of stories. My Father, Nicholas Dardeno III, has millions of stories as you each know, and each of you can tell your own special story about my Father from over the years. I could tell you a story of a Son. I could tell you a story of a Brother. I could tell you a story of a Nephew, a Cousin, a Son-in-Law or an Uncle. I could tell you a story of a friend. I could tell you a story of a soldier. I could tell you a story of a successful business man. I could tell you a story of a cancer survivor and a fighter. I could tell you a story of a world traveler. I could tell you a story of a dreamer and a Grandfather. And I could tell you a story of love, one of the greatest love stories of all time: My parents’ love story. As a daughter living in our house, I witnessed many glimpses of my Mom and Dad’s special private love over the years. A slow dance in the kitchen. Holding hands in the car, my Dad singing to my Mother Or cuddling on the couch, sharing private moments alone. These were not rare occurrences in our house. It was a very rare love they found, grew and held dearly. My Mother’s amazing strength, which you all have witnessed, is a reflection of the tools my Father has given to her over the years. He has prepared her, much as he has prepared us all, for life over the years. Instead, I’m going to share with you two stories I am qualified to share. Stories of my Father, the giver of gifts. The first story is a story I don’t recall but has been told countless times. My Dad asked me what kind of animal I would like for a pet. I said, “An Ephalant.” He never said, “No.” Instead, he took me to a pet store in the area and asked the clerk, “Excuse me, do you have any elephants?” She replied, “No.” And so my Dad took me to another pet store with the same request. They of course said “No.” He then asked if they knew anywhere we could get one. They said no of course, and so my parents took me to see the kittens, which seemed to work out fine. The second story I’d like to share begins in the middle of the woods not far from our house in Burlington, when I was three years old. I was walking with my Dad, more than likely holding his hand -- we always held hands. I loved holding my Father’s hands. We stopped on the path. There were trees as far as my three year old eyes could see. My Dad told me I could pick out any tree I wanted and it would be mine. Now, to a three year old, those woods sent on forever. I chose a tiny Birch sapling from the sea of trees around me. This was the first time I remember my Father giving me the world, and he’s never stopped since. I shared this story with my Dad about three months ago, this story that is etched so vividly in my mind, as clear as the day it happened. He could not recall it. This is so like my Father. It shows that, to him, it was no extraordinary act to give the world to his three year old daughter in the form of her own special Birch tree, or to visit every pet shop in the city to find that elusive Ephalant. He gave and gave and then gave some more. My Dad has painstakingly guided me through my entire life. He guided us all. That is simply what my Dad did: he gave. He gave time, advice, direction, guidance, comfort, values, principles, work ethic, opportunity, friendship, companionship, love and all the important perspectives that reflect his approach to life. As his niece Sarina wrote in her remembrance to him, my Father never wasted a minute in his life. He gave 150% in everything he did. My Father has left us all with a strong foundation on which to continue our own journeys. That’s what he would want us to do in his memory, while he’s off on his next journey. He has been spending his life helping us all to learn how to do it better. That’s my Dad. Eulogy for Nicholas Dardeno By Philip Dardeno, his Brother As you may know, my brother Nick made all these arrangements himself. And when it came to the subject of a Eulogy he said to his daughter Diane that no one was to speak. Diane, who has been a tower of strength throughout, pleaded with him and he finally said “OK, you and Uncle Philip can speak as long as it’s short” That’s the part that will be quite a challenge. The Humanists of the Renaissance period talked about the ideal man as a man with a broad base of knowledge and proficiency in a variety of areas, not necessarily restricted to academic fields. Commonly referred to as a “Renaissance Man”, this man strove to acquire learning and experience in order to fully develop his potential. Nick Dardeno was just such a man in this modern age. A well read man with a variety of interests he approached every new idea as a challenge, a new mountain to climb. He had a quiet passion for learning and for life. I would be surprised if there was a person in this church that he did not introduce to some book that he had just finished reading. He drove himself to try new things in new ways. Everyone knows of his travels, Turkey, China, Africa and so many more places. His interest in music reflected the widest of ranges from Jazz, Rock and Roll to Classical and “Old Timey”. I won’t ever forget that he introduced me to the music of Leon Redbone. He took life on in a straight ahead challenge. He believed that there was nothing he couldn’t do, and in my view I think he was right. He, with the help of our Father, myself and his many friends, built the addition on to his house that nearly doubled it in size. He skied, he bungeed jumped, he parasailed, he tried everything. There was no experience that was beyond him. Fellow workers from his job came to see him in the last month, flying in from all over the country. And they said that, while he was not always easy to work with because he was so demanding, they marveled at how much he could accomplish and how much influence he had in such a very short time. He did not live for the moment, because that really does not describe who he was. Instead I would term it that he squeezed every ounce of experience out of every situation. He was a well thought out man that had an order to his life. He did not just live for today, he had plans and dreams for the future. He took care of everything and everyone. He was such a prodigious planner that it always seemed that he was never taken by surprise by any event. My brother was the was the first born to my mother and father and the first grandchild to Nicholas Dardeno Sr., he was the first Dardeno grandson born in America All of us in this family have followed him since and, whether this is the reason or not, he took his responsibility seriously. He was not only a tremendously accomplished man, but he was a leader in fact and in deed. You could always count on Nick Dardeno and we are all here to attest to that. He showed us the way. Nick and Bev are the Godparents to two of my kids and one of Linda’s. If I had anymore I would have asked them to do it again and again. He was like a second father to all my children and always wanted to know what they were up to and had some idea to give them, some guidance to offer. He taught them to ski, something they would not have learned from me that’s for sure. The thought of Baby Joey coming at you on skis is a daunting prospect. For that and so much more, I am grateful for all he has done for me and my kids, as well as my nieces. He has had a long life time of experiences with his good friends Al Brabant, Johnny Ferrara, Johnny O’Sullivan, Richie Steadman Peter McAnespie, Teddy Rainha and Eddie Jarvis, to name a few. Some of these experiences I could tell you about, some of them I couldn’t. You will just have to ask them. He possessed a presence that impacted all he met. To know him could not possibly leave you unchanged and that is his legacy, that in leading his life with his unwavering strength, intelligence and strong heart he has impacted all of us, down to our very core. He has had a lasting influence on every one of us. He may not be here physically but he is so interwoven in the very fabric of our lives that he will clearly continue on and on. I personally looked up to him in a way that would be difficult to put into words. There is an old quote that says “Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts.” In addition to all I have said so far, I see him as the bravest man I know, a man who could wear his courage on his sleeve. He attacked life on his own terms and willed his way through it time and time again. Earnest Hemingway, one of Nick’s (and my) favorite author’s wrote that “Courage is grace under pressure” To me that describes my brother to a “T”. As it became clear that cancer was getting the better of him, my brother talked to Beverly. He said that he would love people to visit him but did not want them to treat him like he was dying. And you know what, no one did. People came to see him and talked to him, when he had the strength he talked back, when he didn’t he just listened. Despite the fact that cancer was ravaging his body it was always glorious to see him. At all times my brother was grace under pressure, the epitome of courage and dignity. The result is that there are so many positive experiences during this time. My personal favorite is his granddaughter Jessica, two years old, who would wake up in the morning and announce that she would have breakfast with Grandpa. And Bev and Diane brought Nick to the kitchen table to have Cherrios with her. With the birth of his Grandkids, Jonathon and Jessica, my brother’s life reached a whole new plateau. They were clearly the very apple of his eye. I suspect that my Brother would not be happy with me continuing on like this, but I must talk about the true love of his life, Beverly Dardeno. They met while working at Kemps in Burlington. Kemp’s was a precursor to McDonalds. My memory is that you could get a Burger there for 18 cents. They fell in love and went on to lead a life that qualifies as one of the great love affairs of the ages. They remained inseparable throughout their lives in trips to Africa and China as well as trips to the Dana Faber Cancer Center. She held a vigil for him while he was fighting in Vietnam, often coming over the house to be with my mother, who was equally inconsolable. When he came back from Vietnam it represents one of the greatest moments in all of our lives. Everything he did, she did. (Although I don’t think she did the bungy jumping) There was nothing she wanted that my brother would not give her. And there was nothing my brother needed that she would not do for him. I have been fortunate enough to know many strong women, My Grandmothers, my mother and mother -in-law, my aunts and my own wife. Beverly Dardeno is the equal of any. What she has done here is remarkable. I have told you that my brother was the epitome of grace under pressure. But over these days that cancer ravaged him, he could not do it alone Beverly’s tremendous efforts allowed him to live his last days with the great dignity that he lived in throughout his life. She slept on the couch by his side and held in her great sadness until he passed. She was fiercely loyal to him and to his wishes throughout. She gave him the opportunity to complete his life as the significant man he was. I am humbled by her strength, loyalty and love. I will tell you that I love my sister Beverly very, very much. I should conclude this, …my Brother will be mad. You know I am not sad for my Brother, I am sad for me. I will miss him and my life will never be the same, but I am not sad for him. He lived his life on his own terms, he wrestled it to the ground and took all of it’s experiences. He found a soul mate that shared his life in a love story that is legendary. He has two grand children that will continue in his love till the end of time. My children, Linda’s children and all of us will carry his impact throughout the remainder of our lives. I am sad for me, but I am happy and proud for him.