Obituary of Ronald Brush

Massachusetts State Trooper Ronald R. Brush Jr., 38 Massachusetts State Trooper Ronald R. Brush Jr. of Malden, formerly of Burlington, passed away May 29th in Tufts- New England Medical Center following a valiant fight with a lengthy illness. He was the devoted husband of Catherine (Mazzeo) and the loving son of Kathleen and Stephen Duke and the late Ronald R. Brush Sr. of Burlington. He is also survived by his daughters Shannon T. Brush of Milford and Jaclyn D. Brush of North Easton. Ron was the older, respected brother of Jason Brush and his wife Kathryn of Chelmsford, Andrea Woods and her husband Michael of Woburn and Kenneth Brush and his wife Dawnmarie of Rockport. He was a loving son-in-law to John and Catherine Mazzeo of Somerville. He also leaves many adoring nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles and cousins and many treasured friends from childhood to his professional life. He was also the loving grandson of the late William and Rose Toomey of Danvers and John and Evelyn Duke of Burlington. Both grandmothers predeceased him in late April. Ron grew up in Burlington a multi-sport athlete playing soccer and lacrosse. He was member of the Burlington High School Class of 1984. He went on to attend Bentley College and Salem State College. He became a Metropolitan Police Officer in 1987 which then became the Massachusetts State Police. He was stationed at the A4 barracks at Wellington Circle in Medford. He served 18 years with the police force. As a police officer he played on the State Police softball league and ran in many police sponsored road races. He was currently a member of the Irish American Club in Malden and served as an officer in that organization. A wake for Trooper Brush will be held on Wednesday, June 1, from 2:00 PM to 4:00 PM and 6:00 PM to 9:00 PM at the Sullivan Funeral Home, 43 Winn Street Burlington, MA. A funeral Mass will be held on Thursday morning, June 2 at 10:00 AM, at St. Malachy’s Church, 99 Bedford Street Burlington. Burial in Chestnut Hill Cemetery with his beloved father will follow the Funeral Mass. In lieu of flowers, the family sincerely requests that donations to C.O.P.S (Children of Police Survivors) PO Box 3199, S. Highway 5, Camdenton, MO 65020 be made in Ron’s name. An Adaptation of “Funeral Blues” by Wystan Hugh Auden Stop all the clocks Cut off the telephone Prevent the dog From barking for a juicy bone Silence the pianos And with muffled drum Bring out the coffin And let the mourners come Let airplanes circle Moaning overhead Scribbling on the sky The message He is dead Put fancy bows around the necks of all the doves Let the state policemen Wear their white cotton gloves He was our North, our South, our East, our West Our working week and our Sunday rest Our noon, our midnight, Our talk, our song We thought he would live forever We were wrong The stars are not wanted now Put out every one; Pack up the moon And dismantle the sun; Pour away the ocean And sweep up the wood For nothing now Can ever come To any good My Brother, Ronald R. Brush Jr. We are gathered here today not because my brother died, but because he lived. And boy did he live. I want to share with you examples of how my brother lived: Ronnie would give you the shirt off his back, but just as quickly he would also take a couple of shirts out of your drawer without asking you. And he didn’t just wear them once. He had a pair of my shorts (an ugly pair, mind you) that he wore for the better part of the 1990’s. Ronnie dated two girls with the same name at the same time…..and I must say he pulled it off quite well. I think the first uniform that Ronnie wore was that of an usher at the local movie theater where he worked with his friends. It went out of business; we weren’t surprised. Ronnie was the only person I knew who saw nothing wrong with taking a bath in the swimming pool in the back yard. He would even bring soap and shampoo in with him. Ronnie took me on his yellow moped to get my head shaved. I wasn’t supposed to ride on the moped, never mind get my head shaved. He and his best buddy Stephen Bibeau drove around our backyard on their mopeds pretending they were Ponch and John from Chips. Ronnie was John. Ronnie used to go around unplugging everything in the house that used up any electricity. He would often unplug the Christmas tree lights thinking he was saving my parents a few pennies. Ronnie changed the clocks back on Christmas morning one year so that he could get some extra sleep. I was 9 or 10 years old. I wasn’t happy about that one. It seemed that Ronnie was never too far away from a worn-out pair of work boots. Few parents took more pleasure handing out pictures of their children to friends and family than Ronnie did. I’m so glad that Ronnie got to see the Patriots win the Super Bowl in person and then see the Red Sox finally win it all. Ronnie always had great advice. His wedding day advice to me was “I’ve done it twice, it’s good.” When my sister Andrea told him she was having triplets, his advice was, “You better get to bed……right now.” Ronnie used to talk in his sleep so much. He once challenged me to a fight in his sleep. I’ll tell you, I was tempted. If you need any proof that Ronnie and Cathy were made for each other, consider how they got each other the same card for their anniversary last year. Ronnie drove around in his Mercury Cougar with the seat broken for about six months. He was pretty much laying down while he drove. Ronnie completely lied to the parking security when he and Jason and I went to the World Cup Soccer games in 1994. He told them we were part of the special security detail. We parked for free that day. Ronnie had more than his fifteen minutes of fame: Ronnie was on “Real Stories of the Highway Patrol.” He is seen looking at a large group of motorcyclists who were pulled over. He looks menacingly at the bikers and shakes his head back and forth in disapproval. Of course they were already handcuffed. Ronnie thrilled the crowd gathered at the KISS 108 Turkey Toss when the announcers were able to give the play by play of Trooper Brush chasing down the kid who was trying to steal a turkey. Ronnie would check a fridge several times in a five minute span. No left-over was safe. I remember one time ate a whole plate of eggplant parmesan. He told our stepfather Steve that it was the best chicken he had ever had. Ronnie kept stuffed animals in the back of his cruiser for kids whose parent’s car was stranded on the side of the highway. Ronnie would look into the mirror and say, “I can’t wait until tomorrow” you would ask, “Why is that?” and he would say, “Because I get better looking every day.” Ronnie had dress socks that said “Ronald” on them. He said he wore them so he would always know who he was. He’ll never forget now, he’s wearing them. Ronnie loved to try to dance much further beyond his bodily limits. His splits were legendary and dangerous. Ronnie was almost always the loudest person in a room and he did not care about it. Ronnie liked to sing My Girl at karaoke. Not everyone in the audience liked it. But, of course, we loved it. Ronnie sang to me the last time he talked to me. I could not tell you what song it was, but I don’t know if I will ever hear a more beautiful performance. MY BROTHER RONNIE REALLY LIVED THE ADAGE: “DANCE LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING, SING LIKE NO ONE IS LISTENING and LOVE LIKE YOU’VE NEVER BEEN HURT” Ronnie, we were watching and we were listening. We love you now more than ever, but right now, at least, it sure hurts. Eulogy For Ronald R. Brush, Jr. (Born June 20th, 1966 Died May 29th, 2005) On behalf of my entire family and Ronnie’s wife Catherine and her family, I would like to thank everyone for being here today to help us celebrate the life of my brother Ronnie. I think it’s very obvious to see just by looking around this room just how much Ronnie was loved by so many people. Our families would also like to thank the staff at the Sullivan Funeral Home, St. Malachy’s Church and the members of the Massachusetts State Police Force, for helping us send Ronnie off to heaven with dignity and class. Is it just me, or does anyone else in this room believe that if Ronnie was able to sit up and see everyone seated here for him, he would yell out to us: “What the hell are you all doing here…….get atta here….go”! Where do I begin? When I think of Ronnie’s life I think of one word…..that word is “families”. I did not say family, I said families…..I say that because Ronnie truly had many families, and each of them were very special and unique to him in so many ways! He had his original family from Burlington; his immediate family…wife Catherine and daughters Shannon and Jaclyn, he had his family of in-laws; his family at the Malden Irish American Club; his family at the Malden Eagles Club, and as we all see today, he had his family consisting of the entire Massachusetts State Police Force……My brother-in-law Michael Woods said it perfectly to me recently when he described Ronnie’s relationships with all his families: “If you knew Ronnie for a minute, you had a story to tell about him, if you knew him for a month you would never forget him.” I am confidant that all of Ronnie’s families loved him very much, and that the memories that each of his families have will never be forgotten! I would like to specifically recognize Steven Bibeau, Tommy Toland, Sean Gately and Johnny Esposito…..the 4 of you guys were a much different family to Ronnie during different stages of his life. Ronnie really loved you guys. You were his best friends throughout the years…..you were his brothers. My family is grateful to you all for being such a tremendous part of Ronnie’s life. My sister Andrea and her husband Mike’s 5-year old triplets often told their Uncle Ronnie that his head was full of “rocks and spinach”. The reference was very fitting because in their minds, when Uncle Ronnie was around, anything outrageous was possible. Frankly, I think a lot of us here today felt the same way. But in reality, nothing could be further from truth. In fact, my brother was one of the smartest people my family has ever known. He excelled in high school and was ranked near the top of his graduating class, receiving several scholarships to attend college. He continued to excel academically both at Bentley College and at Salem State College. Moreover, his perfect score of 100 on the Metropolitan Police exam, at the tender age of 20, speaks for itself. I will never forget the night almost 19 years ago when my sister Andrea and I stood at the top of the stairs of our house in Burlington, and listened to Ronnie tell my mother and father down in the living room that they would soon be 39 and 40 year old grandparents. Andrea then informed my 12 year-old agitated and sleeping brother Kenny,“not to worry, everything is OK……….Uncle Kenny”. Nine months later, Ronnie’s beautiful daughter, and my Godchild, Shannon was born. At that time, Shannon’s birth was the greatest thing to ever happen to our family. It brought our family together like nothing else had ever done before. Little did we know that 18 days later we would lose our beloved father after a long battle with cancer. Sadly, Ronnie never got over my father’s death. But we owe a great debt of gratitude to Ronnie for bringing Shannon into our lives, and more importantly, for bringing Shannon into our father’s life before his passing. Shannon and Cathy, you both should know that you were the light of Ronnie’s life….you were his girls! Every single day since the day you were born Shannon, and every single day since the day that you two were married Cathy, you were both the reason he woke up in the morning, and the reason he worked his tail off to make ends meet and make sure that you both never went without. You two were also the reason he went to bed every night happy, knowing that you were both safe and taken care of. Always remember how much he loved you, and never stop saying and praying to him his famous quote…..“143”. Mom, you were not only a wonderful mother to Ronnie, but for much of his life you were also his best friend and confidant. For many years, only you knew who the true Ronnie was. You were always there for him whenever he needed you, and please know that your unconditional guidance, love and support for him was always very much appreciated by Ronnie. He loved being your first born, and he loved you dearly. It’s no secret that Ronnie was ill for a long period of time. He worked hard, he played hard and he lived hard his entire life. At no time did he work any harder than the last 2 months as he fought for his life. But Ronnie’s illness did not define him. Instead, his life was defined by the love and dedication he showed to his job, his family and his friends. In his eulogy for his brother Bobby, Massachusetts State Senator Ted Kennedy once stated, in part: “My brother need not be idealized, or enlarged in death beyond what he was in life, but to be remembered simply as a good and decent man, who saw wrong and tried to right it, saw suffering and tried to heal it……” That’s the way my family will always remember Ronnie! For our family, the holidays were always Ronnie’s times to display his love and infectious personality. Ronnie was always center-stage, always the center of attention. It didn’t matter that he was usually an hour late for every occasion, nor that he acted like he was an hour early…..when Ronnie arrived, that’s when the party started. His sense of humor was second to none! When you met him at the door and he said to you “you look sassy” or “how you doin handsome”, it was always very funny, but he really meant it! When he said those things, they came from his heart. He simply wanted you to know that he had arrived, and that he cared about being with you. My family knows of no one who did more for others at the expense of his own health and well being than my brother Ronnie. Ronnie would be the first one to give someone in need a hundred dollar bill, knowing full well that he needed the money to buy himself a new pair of socks. We have recently heard stories about Ronnie shoveling driveways for his friends this winter when his friends were sick, when all the while Ronnie had a dislocated knee…..and we were told of the story of Ronnie bringing a bag of Christmas gifts to the children of a fellow State Trooper late one night because Ronnie was worried that his friend’s family may not be able to celebrate Christmas due to a family illness. That’s the type of person Ronnie was, if he felt he could help someone in any small way, he was going to do it no matter what. Ronnie’s true motto was always……”let me make you happy now, and maybe I’ll take care of myself later…I’m fine, I’ll be fine.” Ronnie, all of your families I spoke of earlier hope and pray that you are indeed “fine” right now! We take great comfort in knowing that you are now with Grammy Rose and that you will be taking her out to dinner to “anywhere she wants”, as you always told her. We also take great comfort in knowing that you are now with Dad forever, something you yearned for since the day he died. Know that in your own way, you were indeed the man of the house, and you set your own examples about life for me, Andrea and Kenny that will never be forgotten. Lastly, know that you were loved and respected as a wonderful friend, older brother, husband and son. I leave you all with the following personal note…..During the second night of Ronnie’s stay in the ICU at the Winchester Hospital, I went and sat in the hospital’s chapel and sought solitude from the Bible. I will not pretend to be a very religious man, but the second passage I read that night within only a few minutes spoke volumes to me, and I immediately knew that I was supposed to read that passage for my own sake, and that I was supposed to share it with others. I am now sharing it with you….. “Judging Others” (A Passage From the Book of the New Testament, Mathew 7:19) Stop judging, that you may not be judged. For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure, will be measured out to you. Why do you notice the splinter in your brother's eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove that splinter from your eye,' while the wooden beam is in your own eye? Hypocrite, remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will clearly see to remove the splinter from your brother's eye. Ronnie……”handsome”, we love you….we care about you! Goodbye for now, but never forever, and may you forever rest in peace. 143!