Obituary of Brian McSweeney

Brian J. McSweeney, Jr., previously ranked #1 in the New England USTA 3.5 Tennis Doubles, passed away suddenly at his home while doing yard work, on Monday April 19, 2010. He was 72 years old. Brian was born in Everett, the son of Irish immigrants, the late Brian and Catherine McSweeney. He grew up and was educated at Everett High School and Newman Prep School. Brian earned his Associates Degree in Civil Engineering from Lowell Tech. He served in the Air Force and achieved the rank of Airman Third Class. He was the recipient of the Air Crew Member Badge. Brian worked as a General Contractor. He was the founder of both, Hamilton Construction and McSweeney Construction and Development Corporation, working in both commercial and residential construction. It was a pleasure for him to work with his sons and sharing his knowledge of the industry. He was proud that McSweeney Construction would continue under his son, Brian III. Brian was a tennis enthusiast. He played both singles and doubles at all levels of competition. At one time he was ranked as the USTA’s number one Doubles player in New England at the 3.5 level. Brian played in tournaments all over New England and the United States. He was the captain of two USTA Sectional Championship teams. He participated in several National Championships. Brian enjoyed playing tennis whenever his schedule allowed, as much as 4 or 5 times a week. Brian shared his love of tennis with his children. He taught them, played with them, and sometimes competed against them. They were his partners and occasionally, his competitors. The USTA instituted an official rule known as “The McSweeney Effect” in their official verifier’s handbook. The rule was made as a direct result of Brian’s competitive level. Brian was a longtime member of Tennis 128 and Woburn Racquet Club. He was looking forward to sharing his love of tennis with his grandchildren.Brian has been a resident of Burlington since 1968. He was an active member of St. Margaret’s Church and participated, along with his wife Joan, in the Marriage Pre-Cana Program. He played an important role in many lives because he was able to share important experiences and challenges with engaged couples. He was a “Friend of Bill W.” for over 37 years. McSweeney, Brian J. Jr. of Burlington, suddenly, April 19. Beloved husband of 47 years of Joan P. (Clifford). Loving father of Brian J. III & his wife Jennifer of Back Bay, Boston, Kevin M. of Burlington and Nancy A. Pastore & her husband Robert of North Reading. Brother of E. Terrence McSweeney of Burlington, Kathleen Stanton & her husband Earl of Punta Gorda, FL and the late Mary Ricci and Margaret Connolly. Devoted grandfather of Catherine A. and Brian J. McSweeney, IV and John Paul Pastore. Brother-in-law of John Ricci of Everett, Eleanor Mangerian & her husband Richard of Stoneham, Marilyn Walsh of Canton and the late Barbara McSweeney, Edward Connolly and John Walsh. Funeral from the Edward V. Sullivan Funeral Home, 43 Winn St., BURLINGTON (Exit 34 off Rt. 128, Woburn side) on Saturday, April 24 at 9 a.m. Followed by a Mass of Christian Burial in St. Margaret’s Church, 111 Winn St., Burlington at 10 a.m. Visiting hours Friday 4-8 p.m. Interment in Pine Haven Cemetery, Burlington. Memorials in Brian’s name may be made to the Brian J. McSweeney, Jr. Tennis Scholarship Fund, c/o Cambridge Savings Bank, 214 Cambridge Street, Burlington, MA 01803. Family Remembrance by Brian Good Morning to each and every one of you, from the McSweeney family. My Name is Brian J. Mc Sweeney III, and I am Brian’s oldest Son. I stand here before you representing my Dad, my mother, Joan, my Brother Kevin and sister, Nancy. I have two tasks I would like to convey. The first will be about how fortunate we, and my dad were in these final days of his life and the second, I hope will be a humorous look at things you may not have known about my Dad. The busy lives we live have a way of robbing us of the time to do things you really wish you could do. However each of us were spared of this and are in a very good place right now, as each of us, were fortunate to have spent quality time with my Dad during his last week. The final days of my Dad’s life could not have been choreographed any better. Many of you know that I was a partner in my Dad’s business and since my Dad’s retirement I have not had the opportunity to work with him as much. However, I called him last Tuesday and asked if he could come to work for me for the day, as I needed assistance shooting grades on a job I have on Beacon Street. He said yes, and there was an excitement in his voice, that made me glad I placed that call. I picked him up on Wednesday and he assisted me in the task at hand. When we were done, I took him to the roof of that building and I asked him to sit down with me and enjoy the view. We sat there looking out at the city of Boston’s Skyline, a skyline he helped shape (he was the senior field engineer on 28 State Street the old New England Merchants Bank) We chatted and he expressed his pride in who his children had become. It was a wonderful day for the both of us and a moment in my life I shall always cherish. My Brother Kevin is most like my dad, for he possesses the kind and gentle parts of my Dad’s personality. Kevin recently moved home, to be with, and help my parents around the home as they began to age. Kevin has had many opportunities in the past two months to sit and talk with my Dad. Kevin (like my Dad) is always putting others before himself and over the past couple of months has completed over two dozen little tasks that needed to be done around the house. My dad was great about letting tennis get in the way of household projects. What most people do not know is that my Brother is my Dad’s son. He has been a rock my Dad has rested on many times and my family holds his selflessness in the highest regard. My sister Nancy was introduced to tennis at a very young age, by my Dad. I think he wanted to make sure he always had someone who was available to hit. He and Nancy hit almost every weekend. My Sister works the front desk at WRC on Sundays and for years my Dad has brought her a cup of coffee and a Bagel each and every Sunday. He would then go to Mass and then return and hit the ball with her. They played together for the last time, on Friday. On that day she asked Dad if he wanted to hit, that question always made him smile. Throughout the day he called her to find out the time they were to play. He played well that day, and they sat and talked after their court time had ended. My Dad loved the afterglow that comes when you walk off the court and sit and talk. Nancy remembers not wanting the moment to end. I truly do not know how he kept that up, for my sister Nancy whose nickname is the terminator, is notorious for returning as many as 25 balls without a mistake. He really loved that girl and that sport. Now my Mom is truly the person that this family owes its existence to. My Mom truly believed in my Dad. When my Dad was struggling early in their relationship with his disease, it was my Mom, who stood by his side when many others would have told him to leave. I once asked her, “Why did you stay?”, and she replied, “Because when I stood at the at the altar, and vowed to be his wife for Better or for Worse, I meant both words, equally.” My Dad knew this. On Monday, my Mom and Dad were together. They were still the team they had always been for over 47 years. They doted on each other through out the day while watching their youngest grandchild. My Mom made my Dad Lunch and they ate it together with Nancy’s son John Paul (yes named after the Pope). The whole scene seems like something out of a Rockwell painting. On the day of my Dads passing The weather was warm, the sky was clear and filled with the sun. He recently spent time with each of his children, had lunch with his wife in the company of his youngest grandchild, he passed out used tennis balls to the kids in the neighborhood, and he was preparing to play tennis at 8 pm with the guys. He knew that his children and their respective spouses enjoyed each others company, and he was in his back yard which was a quiet, familiar and comfortable place for him to be when he was called from this earth. It was all choreographed so well by some higher power. Now because my Dad was such a voracious reader who was passionate about words of advice and how to inspire people, I am going to share some of the more memorable quotes, I remember my Dad Speaking. To his children on making life easier: He used to always say, “remember this…your mother and I have been where you have been, you have not been where we have been, so what ever situation you find yourself in, come to us and we can tell you how we handled the situation or share with you how someone we knew handled the situation”. Life, he would say is a lot easier when you can learn from others. On Living Life with or with out alcohol When trying to convey what life will be like when you stop he once said: “Life does not get easier when you stop drinking, it just doesn’t get harder.” You see my Dad had been sober for over 37 years. To be exact, he was sober for the last 13,641 days of his life. I state this because the program my father worked was based on a single day of living your life. On the generational gap he saw in the way alcohol was used. He once said, that his generation pretty much needed to get in the AA program around 35, but that because of the way life had changed the men and women of my generation needed to get in the program at 25. He then asked me “Do you know what that means?” I replied, “No” and he replied “That your generation, robbed the themselves out of ten good years of drinking!” Marriage Prep Years ago it was my Dads Idea to volunteer for the Marriage Preparatory program, he though tit was important to share he and moms struggle with the alcoholism. He once said to me “You know I saved a lot of marriages from divorce and, oh yeah once I gave my talk about the alcoholism, some of the weddings were called off!” On the little known secret of how to have a successful marriage. First, you get married, then you become an alcoholic, then you get sober. Then for the rest of your life your wife will let you do anything, because she will then think if she stops you, you may break out. On age and the description of what old might be He once said “82 is young when your 81” On Playing tennis: One time he and I were playing as partners in a doubles match, our opponents hit a wicked shot, to my Dad’s side of the court. I, knowing he would never get to it, proceeded to go after the ball, of course I missed the return, crashed into the walls padding and fell to the ground. He walked over and looked down at me and said, “you know Brian…sometimes it’s ok to just say ”Nice shot”.” When an opponent would make a out call on one of his shots that was close, he would say, “Call them as you need them” And finally I wanted to share a short story, about my Dad and a nice note I received from one of his teammates. One of my Dads, long time friends wrote me about meeting my Dad for the first time. You see my Dad was notorious for going to other tennis clubs or places like Franklin Park in search of “ringers” (you know, people who were really good and that know one knew of.) My dad, was at Sportsman’s in Dorchester one night when he was paired with this man’s wife in a mixed doubles match. Mind you, my father at the time, knew neither of these two people. After warm up, my father put his arm around his partner and said, “You know, winning is very important to me” to which she replied, “ok so no pressure right?!?”, to which he smiled and replied “that’s right noooo pressure” In closing, I will leave you with a statement written to me from one of his tennis friends. He wrote: “Your Dad was a King on that court, but his realm extended far beyond the white lines.” Thank you and may God bless each and everyone of you and your families.