Obituary of Barbara Murphy

Barbara Marie (Hallisey) Murphy, a woman of warmth, kindness, and unceasing devotion to her family passed away on Saturday afternoon, May 31, 2014 after a long struggle with Alzheimer’s Disease. The beloved wife of the late Paul Richard Murphy who passed away in 1951, she was 93 years old. Barbara was born, raised and educated in Cambridge. She was a one of 8 children born to the late John and Margaret Hallisey. She went onto to earn her Bachelors of Arts Degree in Extension Studies from Harvard University. She spent much of her career working for the Federal Government working at various agencies. Her last and longest position was that of Administrative Office at the Food and Drug Administration. She was well versed and respected in her field and enjoyed the many challenges and demands she encountered in her position. In the end of her career, Barbara chose family over her career. She retired early to care for her mother. Barbara’s life revolved around her community, faith, and family. She was a longtime parishioner of St. Paul’s Church in Cambridge. She was very proud to live in the Kerry Corner section of Cambridge. In the 1960’s she moved to Arlington and was involved in St. James Church. She then spent the last 20 years in South Yarmouth, where again she was heavily involved in her parish and its social and charitable activities. Barbara was often described as the “Family Caregiver”. She was always there to care for, support, and encourage her family, whether it was her parents, siblings, children, grandchildren, cousins, or just close friends. Her kind heart was always placed others need’s above her own. She traveled extensively over her many decades, often to visit her son and grandchildren. She even spent a month and a half in Guam, when her son Paul was station there during his military career. She made countless trips to New Jersey to see her grandchildren grow up. When it became apparent that she could not live alone any longer, her son and his family moved her to New Jersey to live with them. Her greatest gift was her kindness and has continued from generation to generation. Barbara was the beloved wife of the late Paul R. Murphy. She was the loving mother of Paul R. Murphy & his wife Mary Lou of Marmora, NJ. Proud grandmother of Vincent Thomas & Ryan Patrick. Sister of John J. Hallisey, Jr. & his wife Kay of Newburyport, Margaret Hallisey Di Roma of Roslindale, Maureen Hallisey Frisoli of Cambridge, William D. Hallisey & his wife Mary of York, ME , Robert M. Hallisey of New London, NH and the late Lawrence Hallisey and Jacqueline Hallisey Grondin. Also survived by many nieces and nephews. A visitation will be held at the Edward V. Sullivan Funeral Home, 43 Winn St., BURLINGTON (Exit 34 off Rt. 128, Woburn side) on Saturday, June 7 from 8:30 a.m. – 9:30 a.m. Followed by a Mass of Christian Burial in St. Margaret’s Church, 111 Winn St., Burlington at 10 a.m. Interment In St. Paul’s Cemetery, Arlington. Memorials in Barbara’s name may be made to Alzheimer’s Association, 480 Pleasant St., Watertown, MA 02472 Vincent Murphy 7 June 2014 Nana’s Funeral Speech Good morning! I would like to take the time to thank you all for joining us today. The Murphy family appreciates you making the time to be here. My name is Vincent Thomas Murphy. Today I have the honor of reflecting on a truly remarkable woman’s life, my grandmother, Barbara Marie Josefina Hallisey Murphy or Nana for short. First, I will touch upon some of the highlights in her life. Then I will share some of my favorite memories of my grandmother. Nana was born on May 14th 1921. She was the eldest of eight children and was raised in Cambridge, Massachusetts. On July 2nd 1949, she married Paul Richard Murphy. They gave birth to Paul Richard Murphy Jr. on November 9th 1950. At the age of 30, she became a caregiver for her husband. On October 6th 1951, Paul Richard Murphy Sr. passed away, making Nana a widow and a single parent. Again, this was all at the age of 30. With the support of her family, she was able to continue working a full-time job and raise her child as a single parent. In the next 30 years of her life, she continued to meticulously work for the government, where she held various positions. She thoroughly enjoyed traveling around the world. She began her long-term goal of attaining a college degree. In the last 30 years of her life, she put her family ahead of her career. She prematurely retired from her job to care for her mother, great aunt, and brother. At the age of 70, she achieved her educational goal. In 1990, she graduated from Harvard University with her Bachelors of Arts. In 1991, she became a grandmother. She flew 10,000 miles to the island of Guam to meet me. After years of care-giving and dedicated employment, she retired and purchased a home on the Cape. She became actively involved in her community and church group. During this timeframe, her role as a grandmother truly blossomed. She regularly traveled to New Jersey to visit us. Every summer, we would travel to Cape Cod and live the life. Lobster, miniature golf, card games, board games, you name it, we did it. She planned for when her Alzheimer’s would progress. In 2004, the Murphy family mutually agreed that she would move and reside in New Jersey with us. At this point, I am 13 years old and ecstatic that I get to see Nana everyday. Birthdays, baseball games, high school graduations, holidays, she was there for them all. Christmases, in particular, bring back great memories. Every Christmas, no matter what she was given, she loved it. “Oh, isn’t that neat! She would exclaim, marveling at her gift. “Look how pretty this wrapping paper is! Oh and look at that bow” she would say. I would always tell her to “be a kid” and just rip the wrapping paper off. Instead, she would slowly and carefully unwrap her gifts; spending far too much time admiring the wrapping paper of her presents. Well, at least as far as two teenage boys were concerned. I believe this was largely due to the fact that she had lived through the Great Depression. She was so accustomed to never taking anything for granted. The little things that did not mean much to me, meant the most to her. The Great Depression leads me to my dearest memory of her. This tragic event taught to her save anything that she possibly could. Growing up, she constantly stressed the importance of saving. It is not until now that I fully grasp how much she actually had saved throughout her life. Nana saved enough for Ryan and I to go to college. Not just a semester, or a year of school, but enough for both of us to go to practically any school that we chose. I was accepted into many schools but decided to attend Saint Josephs University, which is not a cheap school by any means. Currently, I am a graduate student at Saint Josephs University as well as an Army ROTC cadet. Without the money that Nana saved for my education, my life could have been drastically different. My future success is largely due to her. Her passion for education and her family are things I will never forget. Grandmother, mother, sister, aunt, wife, daughter, the list goes on. My Mother and I made a list of all the different roles that she assumed. I believe we counted 28 different roles that she played throughout her life, and I am sure there are many others that we missed. My Mother noted that it was not until her last three years, that she assumed the role as a patient. After all those years of caring for others, she was now the one being taken care of. “Mary Lou, I don’t want you to leave your job to take care of me,” she would always say. My Mother and Father listened to her and did not leave their jobs when her health began to take a turn for the worst. For 3 years she was a patient and never once did she complain. Just as every other role she assumed, she did it to the best of her ability and with a smile on her face. Last Saturday, May 31st 2014, I took my girlfriend to the Atlantic City Boardwalk to enjoy the weather and see a movie. My parents and I had planned on barbequing for dinner. During the movie, my Mother texted me and asked me to call her after it was over. At 6:28 PM I called her and asked her what she needed. She asked what else Caitlin and I wanted for dinner, because she did not think cooking on the grill was the best idea anymore. I naturally asked why and in the back of my mind I could tell something was not right. “Vinnie, I really did not want to have to tell you this over the phone but there is no other way. Your grandmother is gone and I do not think it is the best idea for your father to be cooking on the grill,” she explained. My heart sank. My eyes filled with tears. I had to fight to keep my composure in front of the hundreds of people on the boardwalk. It truly was a bittersweet moment, but clearly more bitter than sweet at the time. Bitter because I lost my grandmother, someone I sincerely admired. However, sweet because she was no longer in pain and she could finally reunite with all of her family that she had taken care of for so many years. I will leave you with a fitting quote, “ A death is not the extinguishing of a light, but the putting out of a lamp because the dawn has come.” Nana thank you so much for everything you have done for me. You we re truly an extraordinary woman. We love you and you will be forever missed.