Obituary of Victor Denaro

Victor E. Denaro, passed away unexpectedly, on Saturday, September 13, 2014. The beloved husband of Lucy E. (Spalvero) he was 89 years old and would have celebrated his 90th birthday in November. Victor was born in Boston. He was one of three sons born to the late Giovanni and Dominica Denaro. At the age of 3 Victor's family returned to Sicily where he would live until the age of 17 when he returned to the United States. He lived in Somerville and Medford until moving to Burlington in 1967 where Victor and Lucy would raise their four children. Victor worked as a Hair Stylist and had a shop on the corner of Broad Street and State Street in Boston for more than 50 years. He developed many friendships through his shop as well as on his many bus rides from Burlington to Boston. Victor's home and family were central to his life. He enjoyed cooking for his family, working in his garden and being with his children and grandchildren. Victor was blessed to see the birth of his first great grandchild Aaliyah who was born just three months ago. Victor, his wife Lucy and his children made many trips to visit family at their home in Sicily throughout the years. Victor had just returned from a trip to Sicily with his son John and family on Friday. Victor was the beloved husband of the late Lucy E. (Spalvero). He was the loving father of John & his wife Gia of Colchester, CT, Victor & his wife Lacey of Ashland, Marie Taylor & her husband Keith of Nashua NH and Albert of Burlington. Brother of the late Simon and Dominic. Victor was the proud and loving grandfather of Victoria, Joseph, Samantha, MacKenzie, Nicholas, Devin, James, Michael & David. Also survived by one great granddaughter Aaliyah. Funeral from the Edward V. Sullivan Funeral Home, 43 Winn St., BURLINGTON (Exit 34 off Rt. 128, Woburn side) on Thursday Sept. 18 at 9 a.m. Followed by a Mass of Christian Burial in St. Margaret's Church, 111 Winn St., at 10 a.m. Visiting hours Wednesday 4-8 p.m. Interment in Chestnut Hill Cemetery, Burlington Eulogy Victor E. Denaro November 13, 1924 – September 13, 2014 How do you condense 90 years of life into five minutes? A man who never spent a night in a hospital…. Thank God, because it would not have been good for him, the hospital, doctors, nurses or any of us… Let’s start on November 13, 1924. Our dad “Pops” was born in Boston Massachusetts…that would be surprising to anyone who had the pleasure of hearing him speak in his best broken English. He was the youngest of three boys, returned to Sicily at the age of three and did not return to Boston until he was 17 years old. He lived on his beloved family farm in Sicily during those formative years…. at a time of the great depression and the occupation by Nazi Germany. It gave him perspectives that he would share with all of us through many discussions and sometimes soap box orations on his philosophies of life. It was also the foundation of the life lessons he would bestow upon all of us… the pieces we would take forward in our everyday lives, not realizing at the time the impact he had on all of us or the subtlety of the lessons. Growing up it was obvious that family was the center of the universe for him. He worked six days a week ….took half days on Saturdays… he was home every night by six with a loaf of Italian bread under his arm and the Boston Globe in his hand. My mother cooked and we all ate dinner together every night and talked about the day’s events. As we got older the half work day Saturdays stopped, so did the bread under the arm, but always the Boston Globe in his hand….he loved the news. We settled in to a suburban life in Burlington… Saturdays would now become “family” work days and to our chagrin, he would have us up early with a multitude of projects that needed to be completed…mind you he was a great barber, gardener, cook and philosopher, but his handyman skills were an adventure at best...thank God for Lou Bonadio, our next door neighbor who came to the rescue on more than one occasion. Pops always made time to go outside and participate in whatever sporting event might be going on, wiffleball, football, street hockey…his athletic ability and understanding of “American” sports games other than baseball was pretty limited…we would tell him where to stand and what to do, he would hold you in football and make you run around him in street hockey…. He tried his best and that was good enough for us. We broke many garage windows with flying tennis balls during our street hockey era…never once did he get mad, he would just replace them...looking back... he was happy that we were home and around the house, he could keep an eye on us and keep us out of trouble....it became the hangout for the neighborhood and he would spread his life lessons in broken english to all that would listen… (some with a confused look respectfully thinking to themselves or asking one of us “what did he say?”)… and a few that would understand him…. but everyone loved talking to him. This scenario would carry on throughout his life… The fact that he was broken english never stopped him from engaging people…. whether on the bus on his way to work or just passing someone by…. We always wondered if his audience understood what he said, but it was apparent by the sheer number of friends and acquaintances he had an infectious personality that people wanted to be around. It was amazing to see him in action at family gatherings; he had good words for everyone and could carry on a conversation with anyone. His grandson David was asked by his father Keith what he remembered about Grandpa, David thought for a minute and said…”he didn’t speak English”…after a little more thought and his father’s help David came to the conclusion we all knew….he spoke English/ Italian! Pops loved to talk politics, finances, religion or any other controversial topic that was brought up…. He was never afraid to share and defend his position… we would all have very spirited (and that’s putting it mildly) discussions with him and he appeared to be the most stubborn man in the world… many times we would agree to disagree… it took us a long time to realize it was not because he wanted to be contrary, but because it helped give all of us more perspective… he always tried to understand the underdogs position when looking at things and in his lifetime we never heard him say a bad word about anybody ...his philosophy was simple if you can’t say something good don’t say anything…. President Obama lost a strong supporter.…We being respectful of his philosophy will not say another word! He was a true Italian-American, proud of his heritage, but appreciative of the opportunities this country offered. He took advantage of those opportunities, invested wisely (he loved to talk about the stock market and where he should put his money) and made a great life for our family…. He would tell anyone who listened that this was the greatest country in the world and the opportunities were boundless if you were willing to work for them. He loved to go back to his childhood home in Sicily with my mother and we were all fortunate to make the trip at different times over the years with them…. the very first in 1971, when he brought us to see where he grew up…. He was so proud to show us around his hometown of Faro. During one of our driving excursions he had trouble identifying a traffic officer who was telling him to stop. As he pulled up to the officer he said in the best english we ever heard him speak… “sorry I don’t understand”… the officer just looked at him and waived him on shaking his head… the only time he ever denied his Italian heritage! He took great pride in his children and grandchildren. He had an approach with all of us that made you believe you could do anything… always encouraging… and he could be heard talking to friends or clients about the different accomplishments and successes each of us may have had…never bragging just being a proud father and grandfather of his family…a family that he impacted with so many great life lessons. The importance of family, work ethic, leading by example, don’t being a follower, embracing the diversity of other people and their culture and religion… and the biggest reason he could never be a politician… fiscal responsibility…. He gave sage advice that has helped all of us as we got older “listen don’t talk”… make a neat professional appearance… respect authority and… save money for a rainy day...the way he saved we thought he was moving to Seattle! Obviously we all shared his sense of humor and we can all laugh at ourselves. We were fortunate that both he and my mother passed on this trait… the times are too numerous to mention when we would all be sitting around the table laughing at someone or something that happened…. New comers to the house found this out quickly, if they got up to go to the bathroom…. a look would come over the group….my mother and father just as much a part of it, and without a word the lights would go out everyone would scatter quietly and hide in silence and the poor victim would find themselves in the dark and alone until someone would burst out laughing. If you spent any time at the house it happened to you, it happened to all of us at one time or another ...a rite of passage at our house. Before we give the impression he should be canonized, like the rest of us he certainly had his faults. Like the time my brother Vic somehow got on his nerves at the kitchen table during dinner one night. Before we knew what happened Vic was nimbly running out the back door, from my father’s vantage point he could see Vic running and happened to have the cheese grater in his hand. You can guess the rest…..he let the grater fly and for the first time ever showed solid athletic ability as it was straight and true with some gusto and would surely have hit it’s mark… if not for the storm door closing behind my brother…. the sound of glass breaking combined with the expression on my father’s face was not funny at that moment (or should I say laughing was not a consideration even though we all wanted to)… Vic had escaped and my father had to replace a storm window, but we have never stopped laughing about that to this very day. Marie his princess never got in trouble for anything and Al his youngest escaped due to the trail blazing Vic and I completed in prior years. We still remember being chased up the stairs with his belt jingling and slapping at the stairs behind us. He probably thought it was funny…..but we never turned around to see if he was smiling. Pops was retired for a few years before my mother passed away and from his vantage point she had the privilege of being his personal servant. He’s now joining her and we’re not sure she is willing to give up her “short vacation”…relax Lou…there are no iron boards in heaven… Just lobster tails and champagne, you should be good! Pops, we’re here to say goodbye…. we’ll miss you…. but we’ll remember you everyday simply by celebrating the memories…. the laughter we shared ….and living life by the lessons you taught us.