Obituary of James Harrington

James “Jim” J. Harrington at the age of 45, of Raymond, NH, formerly of Somerville & Stow, MA, Oct. 24. Beloved husband of Tammy Lee (Holding). Loving father of Ashley Harrington, James J. Harrington, Jr., and Krystal Harrington all of Raymond, NH. Grandfather of Leah Rose. Son of Rosemary (Brackett) MacDonald & her husband Thomas of Stow, MA, and the late James A. Harrington. Brother of Christine DeRosa & her husband Joseph of Lee, NH. Stepson of Maria Paone of Hampstead, NH. Stepbrother of Michelle Miller of Melrose. Uncle of Vanessa, Joseph, & Derek DeRosa. Visiting hours will be held the Edward V. Sullivan Funeral Home, 43 Winn St., BURLINGTON (exit 34 off Rt. 128/95, Woburn side) on Thursday, October 29 from 4 to 7:30 p.m. concluding with a funeral service at 7:30 p.m. Relatives and friends are respectfully invited. In lieu of flowers, memorials in Jim’s name may be made to James Harrington Family Gofundme Account which can be found on facebook. A Eulogy for Jim We are here today to say goodbye to James Joseph Harrington. That’s the last time I’ll refer to him as that because most of us here knew him as Little Jimmy or as I did just Jim. Let us not forget though the way we really knew him – husband, dad, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin, most recently grandfather or as I knew him – friend. He was so much more than those words can convey. When we were younger we spent every day together – had to be for more than 10 years. If you invited one of us you got both. People knew that. People also knew the side he portrayed most often – tough, brutally honest and aggressive. What most people didn’t know was the other side of him – compassionate, funny and loyal. Much like his father if you were in you were in, if you were out you were out. Very little middle ground. I would like to tell a couple personal stories that exemplify these traits. Some you may have heard before others I have never shared. We were in high school and hanging out a spot the kids in those days gathered and there were a lot of us probably 20-30. This particular night it was a mixed high school crowd – some from Melrose, some from Wakefield – others like me didn’t attend either. We were talking a group of 4-5 guys we hadn’t met before but for this night we became friendly. At some point one of those guys mentions that he had just won his weight division at the state wrestling finals. Jim’s eyes lit up. Wrestling – I like wrestling. Long story short they agree to wrestle. They go back and forth for a while but slowly Jim is getting the best of him. Keep in mind – they agreed to wrestling rules beforehand. The other guy decides to push Jim’s face in the ground and give him a rabbit punch while he was in a hold – a clear violation of the “rules”. He roared, shook him off, got up and then – picked him up by scruff of the neck and belt buckle and did a fairly good suplex. Got his knees on his shoulders to pin him, cocked his fist back and said “Did you want to fight? I thought were we were wrestling. We can go right now if that’s what you want” Many similar stories – one tough SOB. That was something of a fun story like challenging a guy in a Taco Bell parking lot only come to realize everyone in the crowded parking lot belonged to the gang he ran. That’s a story for another time. These next 2 stories I have never told and frankly are more important because it relates to the Jim I knew. There was his loyalty – he was loyal to a fault. This wasn’t just to me – it extended to my family. He would have protected my sister without question and many times I came downstairs to find my mother and Jim deep in conversation. He respected her like she was his mother. When my sister threw a party at our house one fine night – some elements arrived that started up some trouble. The particulars aren’t important – he defended our house, my house like it was his own. Loyal. One night I returned home with Jim and my sister was at a friends house or something and my mother – who was a bad alcoholic at times, and this was one of those – was passed out at the bottom of the stairs. I did not know if she fell, passed out, died – what the hell had happened. My step father was nowhere to be found. Did he hurt her? All these thoughts rushing through my head as I yelled “Mom!!!”. I started to head over there and Jim was right by my side. She had only passed out but she didn’t appear to have injuries so he helped me carry her upstairs. That’s just the physical help part of it – we went back downstairs and I unleashed rage, depression, tears – my soul came out in those moments. He listened, he’d kill me now for saying it, cried a little and talked back to me. No judgements, no right/wrong and certainly no filter.  That night he helped me to realize a lot of things about myself, my mother and I was able to reconcile going forward. I am not sure even he realized how much that night helped me shake some demons. I also knew he knew we would never speak of it again unless I wanted to. This was the Compassion I knew. For his family… Tammy – To Tammy: His family was always number one to him. He loved you the way he protected you – fiercely. His love of music – all types and flavors – is well known. I mean – how can someone listen to Dan Fogelberg on the way to an Iron Maiden concert? Tammy I know you have lost your best friend, confidante and true love. A day didn’t pass that he didn’t tell you he loved you. You can still hear it if you look – in your children’s voices and mannerisms, in your granddaughters eyes and although the voice is silenced, listen in here(hand on heart) when its quiet and you will hear him whisper “I love you” I cannot begin to express my sympathy to you. Ashley – Ashley: I remember when you were born. I was with your dad every day – your mother will tell you, she probably had days where she thought, is he ever leaving? – I remember when he asked me to be your godfather. I had never been asked something like that and I was honored. What I remember most though was the new light in your fathers eyes. I didn’t recognize it then but I do now – it’s a light that a dad gets from having a daughter. Someone to protect, a princess and something in their life that is truly good. He loved you more than anything in this world. I am sorry for your loss Ashley. James – James: I can speak to something now that when you were born I wasn’t able to. This father/son thing. He loved you James. Fathers and sons have a different communication – its more than words. We understand each other, boys becoming men living in the same home. He had that special bond with you and when I spoke to him he beamed about you. We are harder on our boys not because we are angry or dissatisfied. We are harder because we have always seen the potential inside of you and want you to see it and achieve it! I lost my father at 10 James – I feel your pain and am sorry for it. Krystal – Krystal: I spoke about the light in your fathers eyes when Ashley was born because he was having a daughter. You doubled it!! He loved you with all his heart – he had another princess to look after. Your dad loves you for your free spirit – in many ways you are just like him. He wants you to live a happy life the way you want. I’m sorry Krystal. Leah – Leah: You are his first grand child – the next generation princess to protect. It is our job to make sure you know Grandpa Jim and how much he loved you. Grandpa Jim Christine – Christine: You knew your brother better than all of us, I’m sure. You two were still as close as the day you were born. She didn’t want me to tell you but she passed along a story of how Jim used to lead her out the window to sneak down the park and he would make peanut butter and graham crackers It was always like that right? Partners in crime. Remember the time we were in Boston, Joe you were there, and for whatever reason another group of guys bumped into us and it started into a free for all? Remember why it didn’t work out so good for anybody? Could there have been more ice? It was like a 3 stooges episode. Everybody left like “Your Lucky!!” still slipping and sliding just trying to get out of the alleyway. You guys fought, lived and loved each other and experienced life together. You are lucky Christine – he was a true brother, I am sorry for your loss. Joe – Joe: You are his brother-in-law but in reality you were his brother. You and Jim were also kindred spirits and you were Uncle Joe to his children – your children and his were close as cousins should be. Keep an eye on your nieces and nephew they will need you. I am sorry for your loss. Yt’tah. Rose – Rose: You have lost a child, I cannot imagine. I know you saw all the ups and downs but know that he finished “up”. He was a good man and a good father – as parents that’s what we hope for right? You may not remember a conversation we had in your kitchen many, many years ago when you asked me a question. I am not going to repeat it here but the answer is I loved him like a brother and I always did. Rose – please accept my condolences. David and Joanne – I mention you here because when I met him he was staying at your house. I believe he was pissed at you Uncle Dave in those days for locking him out during the day so he could find a job. Aunty Joanne is still pissed that her level 75 wizard is dead. He loved and respected you both tremendously, he understood how much you cared about him. Those were some good times – you also did those things to keep us out of trouble. My in-laws- I love you and am so sorry for your loss. Jay – Jay: You lived with him and his family. I recognize the special relationship you have with him and his family. I want you to know I grieve with you – we were part of the same group. Please know I am thinking of you and my heart is broken as well. I just to say I know I didn’t single out everyone who knew him or were touched by him. It is too great a number and not enough time. I am going to finish the way I started with some personal reflections. One more story I find funny – 4 of us decided to go to an amusement park in New Jersey called Action Park. Of course we didn’t have the money to go to 6 Flags so we found an “alternative” a few miles from 6 Flags. So we head on down – excited – even though the fleabag hotel we check into was awful we had an amusement park to go to tomorrow! When we got there – if you have kids and have seen SpongeBob - it was Krabby Land. The rides were broken, towers were falling apart, rusty, moldy and even at that age we were well aware very dangerous. The only “Action” in this park was bumper boat rides which Jim promptly got into and began to challenge everyone to smash up derby while swearing his head off. We were not so politely asked to leave. I saw this Park in the news recently – I sent Jim the story – it was closed in 1996 due to safety violations. It has some nicknames “Class Action Park” “You haven’t lived in NJ until you’ve been hurt at Action Park” – I sometimes do wonder how we walked away from some of this stuff but we had experiences and really lived. I was always a think first person – sum up the situation, weigh pros and cons then act. Jim was a bit of an act first person – then deal with the consequences. In life you need a little bit of both and I know he taught me to fight and act and I like to think I taught him that sometimes reflect then act is the way to go. I believe it is this yin/yang that made us friends and have such a deep understanding of each other. Our games of axis and allies, video games and attempting to figure out the hardest game ever made Flat Top. I will miss it. I was talking to Bob on Saturday night that I was really sad Jim is gone, of course, but I have lost something else. I hope that everyone can have, even if for a brief moment, the feeling and knowledge that there is a safe harbor out there for you. This someone is not your parents, wife etc No matter what the situation, how much time has passed or the trouble you are in you can knock on the door and the answer is “Come in. Its cold – be warm” Jim was my safe harbor and I only hope he knew the same of me. I have done this now for father and son, a privilege I wish I didn’t have to take but do so honored that their family has allowed me too. To his father and all family waiting for him– welcome Jim in, he’s knocking and its cold – he wants to be warm. My family and I love you Jim. One last thing – he’s still wrong, although a close race, Metallica is better than Led Zeppelin. Godspeed my brother