Obituary of Phyllis Van Wart

Phyllis (Stiglich) Van Wart, long time Burlington resident and Retired Burlington Treasurers Office employee, passed away at her home following a long and courageous battle with cancer at 81 years of age. Phyllis was born in Boston on January 25th, 1930 to George and Hazel Stiglich. She was raised and educated in Newton and graduated from Newton High School. She married her husband Ken in 1952 and settled in Burlington in 1957 where they raised their two sons, Wayne and Mark. Phyllis, or “Mimi,” as her family lovingly referred to her as, was a wife, mother and grandmother first, above all other things. Her cheerfulness, genuine interest and compassion for others, led her to become everyone’s Mimi. Phyllis had a great passion for life, and had an incredible amount of energy and talent, which she used to enrich the lives of those around her. She loved to cook, and her dessert “Rewards” were widely enjoyed and renowned. She was also a gifted seamstress, artful crafter, and enjoyed spending time in her home and garden. Phyllis worked for the town of Burlington for over 35 years and most recently managed health benefits for Burlington retirees. After her official retirement, she continued to work part-time as it gave her great joy and fulfillment. She loved being able to help people, and especially “her” retirees. It was not unusual for her to receive a call from a retiree at her home, sometimes for guidance, at other times just to say “hello”. Over time, they became like a second family to Phyllis, and she will be lovingly remembered by all of those whose lives she touched. Phyllis was the beloved wife of the late Kenneth Van Wart, and loving mother of the late Mark Van Wart. Her legacy continues through her son Wayne and his wife Jan, their children Chris, Matt and Kelly, as well as her daughter-in-law Donna “DJ” Mack and her children Kevin and Jaclyn. She is also survived by her brother George “Wil” Stiglich and his wife Mary “Polly,” and their daughters Lisa Bilozur, Dianna Gilligan, and Joanne LaForest, to whom she was “Auntie Phyllis.” She will be missed by all and remembered with fondness and affection for what she accomplished and what she left behind. Funeral Services will be private. Memorials in Phyllis’s name may be made to the American Cancer Society, 30 Speen St., Framingham, MA 01701. MIMI written by her son Wayne It is sometimes said that “one does not know or appreciate what one has, until it’s gone” – but I think Mimi is the exception to the rule. Mimi has met her peace and is finally in a place that is absent of pain and filled with joy, laughter and serenity. She is back with Mark and Dearie, Katherine and others – being “Mimi” and ever watching over our family. It’s nearly impossible to try and capture the “Magic of Mimi” and to bundle it succinctly. She not only touched the lives of hundreds of people – to many to count – but she endlessly gave a piece of herself to all of us, all of the time; • Growing up, Mimi was “mom” – and “mom” was the best. She did all the things good Moms do, but took her role to a higher level. Learning algebra and calculus in middle school so she could help us Mark and I get through 8th and 9th grade math. Working at the church and teaching Sunday School, den mother for Cub Scouts, and more. She celebrated the victories and helped us through tragedy. • She was Phyllis during the middle years – hosting lots of people, friends and family, over to the house – for holidays and especially during the summer. How many sunny afternoons did we spend out on the patio – for her, the more the merrier – we just put more tips on the grill! How many courses did we have on Christmas day – an afternoon dinner to feed a king – and endless supply of goodies during the day, and a midnight feast that would make a cruise ship chef jealous. Some of the world’s finest culinary works of art have come out of Mimi’s kitchen. • Phyllis was also “Auntie Phyllis” – a place to go where there was a pool, sleepovers, and lots of fun with Dearie. She so enjoyed watching Lisa, Di and Jo – and it was these years that served fertile for what was next -- • Mom became Mimi. More than a name – it was an institution. One of Chris’s finest moments having coined the name – a name everyone used, all of the time – at home, with family, at work, everywhere. There was “independent play”, “rest period”, “Mimi’s Rules”, “Mimi Milk”, “rewards”, frequent discussions about her “bearings – and if she had lost them or not!” and more. She cherished her grandchildren – She cherished her nieces – she cherished us. We cherished her. Some forty two months ago we were all shocked when we learned she had Cancer - “crushed” was more like it. The short term view was dim – but from talking with her, you would never know it. In fact you would never know the severity, the pain, the difficulty and the set-backs from talking with her -most of the time she didn’t even ‘look sick’. She would not allow it. If the conversation was about her – she deflected. She cared for others when she needed the caring. But she was a fighter – never a peep. I share with you words that I believe say it best: “She is an inspiration. She has a wonderful listening ear and is always willing to be a sounding board – she looks for the positive in everyone despite their issues or dysfunction – she never shy’s away from giving encouragement and her words ring true, because she lives her words and acts her words, she doesn’t just say them” Remember the good times and the wisdom we took from her. Just like the little sign in the kitchen says…..”When all else fails, Ask Mimi” She will always be there for us. THANK YOU MIMI written by her grandson, Matt We would just like to say “Thank You” Mimi, thank you for your attitude and your strength. When we were younger, we remember you dancing into our bedrooms first thing in the morning Belting out “Good Morning, Good Morning….Good Morning to You! Good Morning to You!” At the time, all we could think about was “how is this woman so happy this early” At Jaci and Mike’s wedding, there wasn’t a force on this planet that was gonna stop you from dancing and having a good time Even a few weeks ago, when Kelly and I were complaining to you about how our weeks were, and how crummy the weather was, we didn’t hear a peep from you about how exhausted you were, or how uncomfortable you might have been Your strength will help us keep perspective and we will continue to push your attitude and we will always smile So, Thank you Auntie Phyllis written by Dianne A week ago, Auntie Phyllis and I shared a very special day together. We talked for hours; we laughed a lot, we prayed together, and we took brief naps when she became tired. She asked me why God would allow her suffering to continue. She wanted to know what she had done to deserve this and what possible purpose it served for Mark to die so young. I told her that I didn’t have an answer, but that I knew one thing for sure. God is a loving God and uses people’s suffering for His purposes. While still on earth, we would never know the reason. But we discussed how lucky she was that soon she would experience the joy of seeing God face to face and be reunited with Mark and Uncle Kenny. All of these questions would be answered for her, yet remains a mystery for those of us left behind. In her final days, it didn’t matter if we were talking about what heaven would look like, or something simple, like what was for dinner, or how green the grass would look when spring finally arrived. She would just look at you with her eyes opened wide and say “Yea”, with a sense of wonder, like she was experiencing it for the first time. Auntie Phyllis and I got into a lot of mischief that day! She wanted to try crushed ice to moisten her mouth; something she felt Wayne might not think was a good idea. So she said, “Let’s ask Wayne.” “O.K., I said I’ll go get him.” Then she grabbed my arm and said, “Let’s just do it and ask him later!” So we plotted it out and waited for Wayne to go outside to walk Chip. I tip toed down the hall as though I was robbing a bank, which cracked her up! I put the ice in a baggie, found a hammer in the basement and banged it into little pieces, then ran upstairs before he came back in. We both laughed and tried to act natural as Wayne checked in on us later to see how things were going. “Dianne and I are in cahoots Wayne!” Auntie Phyllis said smiling, implying we had done something outrageous! Wayne is truly an Angel, and I know God is so pleased with how he has lived his entire life. Auntie Phyllis and I had talked about this several times. I loved watching her facial expression as she asked Wayne what was for dinner. Wayne offered her a full menu, listing all of her choices, even though Auntie Phyllis wouldn’t be able to swallow more than two bites. He continued giving her choices and treated her with dignity. I have so many memories of growing up, enjoying holiday’s with Auntie Phyllis and Uncle Kenny. Much of my high school days I spent living with them on weekends, school vacations and summers. We would accomplish so much in one day! Auntie Phyllis would run around like lightening and Uncle Kenny would sit in his chair and roll his eyes (I would laugh every time!) Before bed, she would get our brownies and milk and call it “our reward!” as if that justified all the calories! Sitting by the pool, Uncle Kenny and I would puff on Tipparello’s. My sisters weren’t into cigars, but Uncle Kenny and I enjoyed one now and then. Then there was Mark. If you ever get the chance to listen to the song by The Doors called “Back Door Man”, turn up the volume at the very beginning of the song and imagine Mark screeching the first verse, and you’ll know why we fell out of bed in the morning! Auntie Phyllis would say “Well, Mark’s up!” I swear he did this to me all the time as I passed by his room, just to see me jump! Ever since Mark died, I have been so lucky to see him in my dreams. Last week, after my last visit with Auntie Phyllis, I had a dream about him that night. It was unlike any other dream I’ve had before. Mark was standing right in front of me, crystal clear, and as I reached out to touch him I said “I knew you were here waiting to take Auntie Phyllis home.”