Tuesday, May 24, 2022
Joyce and family - I am so sorry for your loss; it is such a huge one. Gene meant the world to me – and as I could tell from his beautiful funeral service, he meant the world to all he met! How can one succinctly write memories of a lifetime? So many memories it is hard to know where to start…and how to stop. But I will try. When I think of the happy times on Brunswick Park, Melrose, I think of Gene. He was always glad to spend time with all of the “Butler kids”, showing us how to fix things, plant flowers, trim shrubs and, most importantly, how to be a good (a really good) neighbor. As kids, we may not have fully understood how lucky we were to count him as a friend. For me, he was often a lifeline, always there to cheer me up, hold my hand, be a quiet companion, and tell me, earnestly, how much he loved me. When I was 18 mo. old, he gave me a teddy bear that I still have, nearly 60 years later.
One night in the summer when I was young Gene ordered pizza. My Dad, Gene, and I ate pizza at 8pm, something I had never done! It was one of the only times I had Gene (and my Dad) to myself - - it was wonderful. I recall in the spring my sister Ellen and I going around his gardens, popping all the Hosta flower buds. He didn’t get flowers that year, but he never said a word! Even though he saw us doing it, he saw how delighted we were in hearing that popping sound and that made it OK by him. We had no idea we were destroying his flowers, but now I know how difficult that must have been on some level, yet he seemed to revel in our joy. When I learned his name was Eugene, not Gene as I had always known him, I would hear him in the yard and call, “That ‘you Gene’?” He would laugh every time and even as an adult he would tell me how much we both enjoyed my calling to him as “You Gene”!
Many days, during spring to early fall, he would come home to find me in his yard sitting on the glider, swinging back and forth. He would come to sit with me and just chat or get me involved in something. As an adult, he told me he always knew I was having a problem when he saw me there. I told him I must have had a lot of problems because I remember being on that glider a lot. He was just so lovely to help cheer me up and never seemed to mind that I was always there bugging him!
Gene gave me that glider a few years ago – he said he couldn’t give it or sell it to anyone else. He knew how much having it would mean to me. Every time he visited in Maine, the first thing he would do was sit on that glider. It was our common joy and place of respite!
Gene was important to each of us in our own way, but he was especially important to me. He provided love, comfort, and support in his quiet, non-judgmental way. He never said a cross or mean word about anyone; such a rare gift to have, such a rare gift he was!
I wish I saw him more often as an adult – he would hug me as if there were no tomorrow! He would hold onto my hand firmly, yet gently, and repeatedly tell me he loved me! His passing is a heartbreaking loss, yet I am more than grateful that I was one of the lucky ones. I had the chance to call Gene friend!
May all the joyful memories help you through this difficult time. And know that so many people are available to support you in any way. On the day of Gene’s funeral there was some rain as we drove down from Maine. It was as if God was crying along with us. Then, at the cemetery, it was beautifully sunny as if Gene and God were smiling down on us. It seemed so fitting. Rest in blessed peace, Gene – you were the best of humankind and the kindest human I’ve ever known.
